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Having sex in the shower is usually going to involve two people of disparate heights standing up and trying to make their genitals fit. Once you accept the fact that this is going to be ugly, clumsy, and demanding of a lot of core strength you probably don’t have, then you can really start to relax and enjoy it. The reality is you’re slipping and sliding around the place like an oily whale, trying to reconcile the discrepancy in height between you and your partner by ungracefully bending over, and taking in so many lungfuls of water you think you might drown. And unless you’re a fish, your apartment is probably filled with many dry places on which you can do it with ease. (and to be honest, i was really exaggerating the possibility of death, anyway. The shower is already slippery enough as it is, and two soapy bodies trying to connect might as well be covered in oil for how little friction you’re going to have between you. When a couple’s gotta bone, a couple’s gotta bone.

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If you’re not flexible, then consider the lazy shower fucker’s option, and whether you have enough space just sit down in there. No one is going to judge you for getting out of the shower and doing it somewhere else. I feel like that’s the most responsible thing to do.